A View of the Valley

by Linda Schwanke We’ve been hearing owls hooting in the evenings of late, a welcome sound. Presumably Great Horned Owls, we haven’t actually seen them but as their calls fill the night air we are certainly aware of them. Hubby Jim used to stand on the front lawn and call to them. They’d fly to a neighbor’s very tall tv antenna to see what on earth was going on. He can’t do that these days as Scout the Wonder Dog flips out and the owls do not appreciate her barking. Poor owls. Poor dog. But good entertainment for humans listening for sounds of nature. The owls hooting is one small joy that I look forward to each fall. In a world gone mad, I look for joy every moment I can. Scout and her black furred conspirator Lucy bring me joy, at least at times. They like to chase through the house this time of year rearranging rugs and upending pillows, throws and everything in their path. I don’t know why fall brings out the crazy in them. Perhaps it’s because since the time changed they are being fed later than the law allows and it is a protest against such inhumane treatment. Perhaps they’re just nuts when the leaves fall.  The crunch of leaves underfoot as I walk each morning is a small joy, mostly because I’m not the one raking them I think. The air is so fresh and crisp that I stay out walking longer than I probably should. That’s ok. Soon enough walks outside won’t be fun at all. Granddaughter Mildred brings me hours and hours of joy. I am so grateful that she and daughter Gwen are living with us at the moment. Toddlers are endlessly creative and while it takes a lot of energy to keep up with her, as a grandma I can turn a lot of the hard part of watching a toddler over to Gwen and just enjoy the ride. And it is quite a ride. Mildred is working on learning names of people and things. She has heard me call her mama Gwen so she knows mama is Gwen. She knows I am grandma Linda because she has multiple grandma’s – her daddy’s mom, Jim’s mom is Grandma Pat and even Jim’s sister Carolyn is known to Mildred as one of her grandma’s. Mildred has not, as yet, figured out Jim’s name. She calls him pappa but when she has to say his real name she says he’s crappa, grandpa being too hard maybe? It’s hilarious and we try not to laugh but it’s hard. Finding joy and humor in life is important, especially now. I’m not the only one looking for a smile. The Wisconsin Newspaper Association provides content for publication as a free service to its members and I have to share the column, Wok & Roll by Peter Kwong, from the (Frederic) Inter-County Leader, because it’s too good not to: Just when I think that life is getting boring and dull, Ken Mettler, my brother in song, sends me some jokes to brighten up my day. Our Indianhead Chorus has not been able to get together and practice since the virus began. At the same time, all the performances were brought to a halt. No annual concert, no sing-out with churches or different groups. Yes, I managed to still play my guitar and piano and sing solo at home, but it just isn’t the same. It is like playing bridge by yourself; how fun is it? Thank goodness our director, Karl Wicklund, thought of a new plan — to get together through Zoom. We have a chance to see our buddies, even though not in a normal way. Only one person can speak at a time, the others can only listen. But when Karl plays a tune with all four parts — the lead, the tenor, the bass and the baritone, each part can still sing along individually. No, it is not the same, but it is much better than twiddling our thumbs. So, folks, wait for our good news when this virus is over. We’ll be back on track with more enthusiasm and exhilaration than ever. I must be getting old, just what was I talking about? Oh yes, jokes. How appropriate, here are some old-age jokes that I appreciate, and I hope you will enjoy them too. •No, I am not multitasking, I just forgot I have a project going and started another one. •I found out the easiest way to get my wife’s attention is to just sit and relax and do nothing. •I never dreamt that the buttons of my shirt would practice social distancing. •I am glad that when I get up, I find all the joints are still hurting. If nothing hurts, then I must be dead. •When I move my arm, it cracks; when I move my left my knee, it cracks; when I turn my neck, it cracks; goodness, I am not getting old, I am getting crispy. •Don’t mess with old folks, let me warn you; “life in prison” means nothing to them. •I thought pole dancing was getting in and out of the bathtub while grabbing the pole on the wall. •At our age, don’t sing in the shower. Singing leads to dancing, dancing leads to slipping, slipping leads to paramedics seeing you naked … don’t sing. •I see people my age mountain climbing; meanwhile, I feel good getting my leg through my underwear without losing my balance. •If you forget what you’re saying in the middle of a sentence, just say, “I forgot the English word for it.” People will assume you’re bilingual instead of being an idiot. •I don’t always go the extra mile, but when I do it’s because I missed my exit. •Dogs are rejoicing because their owners are staying home 24/7; meanwhile, cats are contemplating suicide. •If you want to impress me with your vehicle, it better be a food truck. And here are a few from our beloved entertainers: -You know you’re getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. – Bob Hope -I’m at an age when my back goes out more than I do. – Phyllis Diller -I’ve learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper; the closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. – Andy Rooney -By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he is too old to go anywhere. – Billy Crystal You know you’re getting older when you’re cautioned to slow down by your doctor instead of by the police. – Joan Rivers Smile and keep yourself and your family safe. Please stay in touch. My number is 574-3159. Email me at homenewseditor@newspubinc.com or write to me at the Home News, P.O. Box 39, Spring Green WI 53588.   The news deadline is 12 noon on Mondays.