A View of the Valley

by Linda Schwanke Getting out a new calendars and throwing out the old ones, putting away all the files accumulated in a year and starting new ones, cleaning cupboards, reorganizing this that and the other thing, all the little rituals of a new year beginning are keeping me busy. It is a relief to get rid of the old and start with the new this year more than most.  I have a file on my computer named “A View Ideas.” It’s filled with random notes of ideas I’ve had for this column that for one reason or another I never finished. Often it’s because I got interrupted and couldn’t remember where I was going with it when I came to back to my computer. Other times it’s because I had a better idea or a timely thing to say. This week, in an effort to clean out the old and start fresh, I’m sharing some of these random ideas and then throwing the file away. I’ll probably start a new one soon because my life is constantly being interrupted. If I were ever to write an autobiography – doubtful – I would name it My Life Interrupted…  I have a note that says urban legends. That’s all it says. Was I questioning what they are? Did I have something more specific in mind? I don’t recall. My favorite urban legend is the one about the guy with a pet snake. A friend told it to me over lunch at the General Story. The story goes that this guy, who was a friend of a friend of the friend’s brother, loved his snake and let it sleep in bed with him. It usually slept at the end of the bed at his feet but it grew up and started sleeping next to him, stretching itself out along the guy’s body. The snake stopped eating and the guy was worried so he took the snake to the vet who told him that the snake was measuring him and not eating in preparation for eating him. Eek! Ok, for one thing, it’s stupid because you can’t let a snake live outside its habitat. Even I know that. But I was so disappointed when daughter Gwen said it was an urban legend because it’s an entertaining story. It still makes Gwen mad that it’s a popular urban legend because she likes snakes and is actively involved in a group that educates people about snakes. Life is endlessly interesting and filled with oddities. How do eels reproduce? Apparently biologists don’t know. In a way, who cares? But in a way, it’s fascinating. You’d think they’d know. Gwen was messing around on her phone while waiting for pasta to boil and came across a TED talk about eel sex or more the lack of knowledge about eel sex. She told me and got me hooked. TED talks are fascinating short talks, available on the internet, about nearly everything you can imagine. The TED talk idea is to spread ideas and help people find a deeper understanding about whatever it is the talk is about. It’s a rabbit hole you can’t help but dive into and once in, it’s hard to escape. I recommend them highly – unless you have something urgent to do. Wait until you have some free time then go to ted.com and give them a try. In real life, cats really do walk on keyboards, just like on all the internet memes and gifs. I don’t know why they do it. Are they secretly sending cat messages out on the catnip web known only to felines? I wish someone would tell me so I could get Lucy to stop. And how do you work through the afternoon lull when you’re working from home and the dog is snoring? Scout the Wonder Dog has taken over my office chair. I put a pillow on it because she can’t sleep without a pillow – she has her own pillows on beds, couches and chairs all over the house - and now I’m asking myself why.   What’s in a name? I read a story somewhere about the most popular names of the last 100 years. Not surprising to me is that my name in on the list. It seems like half the women I know who in my age range are named Linda. Hubby Jim’s name, James, is on the list, too. It’s not surprising either that there are a bunch Linda and Jim couples in the Valley. Our nephew Jimmy was engaged to a Linda. The name William is listed. An old stalwart, half the men on my side of the family are named William which is why we named our son William so that was not a shock. (How do you get Bill from William? It’s a mystery.) It did surprise me that Gwendolyn is not on the list. It’s a beautiful name which is why we chose it for our daughter. I know many Gwen’s in the Valley. Maybe it’s a regionally popular name because it’s Celtic in origin? Mildred is not on the list either. One of my all-time favorite people, Millie Rott, is named Mildred. I remember telling her that my granddaughter is named Mildred (who is named for a great-grandma) and Millie said she hated the name growing up. I admit it isn’t the first name that comes to mind when one thinks of beautiful names for a baby but I’ve come to love the name because of my association with the two Mildred’s I know.  I have developed a symbiotic relationship with granddaughter Mildred – about Christmas cookies. She likes the frosting and not so much the cookies. I like the cookies and not so much the frosting. So I get us a cookie, which are more or less under lock and key, and let her eat the frosting, then I eat the cookie. It’s a win for both of us as long as I remember not to get us a cookie to share very often. As mutually beneficial relationships go, it’s pretty simple. I wish everything in life could be that simple.  Stay in touch. My number is 574-3159. Email me at homenewseditor@newspubinc.com or write to me at the Home News, P.O. Box 39, Spring Green WI 53588. I miss you all but we need to be safe until one day we can get together again. The news deadline is 12 noon on Mondays.  Visit our website at homenewsrv.com Get in touch with Gwen for sports or features at homenewssports@newspubinc.com. If you need a display ad, Dave Pronold can be reached at homenewssales@newspubinc.com or by calling him on his cell at 588-4777. Display ads, or ads that are in boxes, are due by 1 p.m. on Wednesdays. The classified ad deadline is noon Thursdays the week prior to publication for both the Buyer’s Guide and Home News. Classified rates are $13 for the first 10 words, then 30¢ per word for each additional word. Call (608) 767-3655 or email classifieds@newspubinc.com  Legal notices are due by 2 p.m. on Fridays, email them to legals@newspubinc.com Call the NewsPub central office at (608) 767-3655 for subscriptions and all other information Monday through Wednesday from 8:30 a.m. to 4 p.m. and Thursday from 8:30 a.m. to 12 noon, although afternoon hours can vary. Closed Fridays.